Archie Campbell's Rindercella

Archie Campbell performed his spoonerized retelling of Cinderella — "Rindercella" — on Hee Haw throughout the 1970s. The transcript below follows the canonical recording: it opens "Once apon a time, in a coreign fountry, there lived a very geautiful birl named Rindercella," and ends with the unforgettable moral about slopping your dripper. After the audio, a catalog of every other Rindercella version in this archive — Colonel Stoopnagle, Jack Ross, Milburn Stone, and reader-submitted variants.

Once apon a time, in a coreign fountry, there lived a very geautiful birl; her name was Rindercella. Now, Rindercella lived with her mugly other and her two sad bisters. And in this same coreign fountry, there was a very prandsom hince.

And this prandsom hince was going to have a bancy fall. And he'd invited people from riles amound, especially the pich reople. Rindercella's mugly other and her two sad blisters went out to buy some drancy fesses to wear to this bancy fall, but Rindercella could not go because all she had to wear were some old rirty dags. Finally, the night of the bancy fall arrived and Rindercella couldn't go. So she just cat down and scried. She was a kitten there a scrien, when all at once there appeard before her, her gairy fodmother. And he touched her with his wagic mand ... and there appeared before her, a cig boach and hix white sorces to take her to the bancy fall. But now she said to Rindercella, "Rindercella, you must be home before nidmight, or I'll purn you into a tumpkin!"

When Rindercella arrived at the bancy fall, the prandsom hince met her at the door because he had been watchin' behind a woden hindow. And Rindercella and the prandsom hince nanced all dight until nidmight...and they lell in fove. And finally, the mid clock strucknight. And Rindercella staced down the rairs, and just as she beached the rottom, she slopped her dripper!

The next day, the prandsom hince went all over the coreign fountry looking for the geautiful birl who had slopped her dripper. Finally he came to Rindercella's house. He tried it on Rendercella's mugly other ... and it fidn't dit. Then he tried it on her two sigly usters ... and it fidn't dit. Then he tried it on Rindercella ... and it fid dit. It was exactly the sight rize!

So they were married and lived heverly ever hapwards. Now, the storal of the mory is this: If you ever go to a bancy fall and want to have a pransom hince loll in fove with you, don't forget to slop your dripper!

Other tellings of Rindercella

I have been convinced and concluded myself that the spoonerization of the Fairy Tale of Cinderella was first achieved by Colonel Stoopnagel of radio fame. See what I deem the original version and learn more about Stoopnagle.

Jack Ross wrote another version with a cut-off recording.

To go along with the Jack Ross version is an extraordinarily similar version. Sent to me by Paula M., it's a transcription from a CD she owns of Tom Callinan's Come On An Sing-Along! I am suspicious of the originality of this version and attribute its origins to Jack Ross. Normally I wouldn't post something so similar, but the transcription does a lot to show that it is actually a separate version. (It's like a sub-species.)

Next, there is the version which I've had the longest, which is very close to the Campbell transcription above.

I was sent another version attributed to Milburn Stone. Stone was a guest on Dean Martin's weekly TV show and told Cinderella, interactive with Dean Martin. Stone was also Doc on the TV Series Gunsmoke.

Then, I received a new version from Alan H of England. To quote Alan:

"I first heard Rindersella in the early sixties. I have never been to the US and haven't (knowingly) listened to US radio. However, after growing up in England, I moved to Cyprus in 1963 when my father was posted with the RAF. I was about 15-16, and I heard the story on British Forces radio. I must have heard it a couple of times, but could not track down the actual record. It was only years later that I used the internet to figure out it must have been Jack Ross, whose 7" disk reached the US charts in early 1962. Anyway, I was hooked on the idea and developed the story as a party-piece which I started in school later the same year. Subsequently - in the RAF myself and in later life _ have consistently used the routine as an after-dinner piece. I have used it in concerts in the Officers' Mess; at a revue at an Open Prison in Northumberland; to entertain work and sport colleagues. Hundreds have groaned at my version of the story. Having found your website recently, I have compared my version to the original - and there are very few similarities, but a few phrases have survived from the Jack Ross chart-breaker. These obviously stuck in my mind: 'sisty uglers'; 'pransome hince'; 'ears in her ties'; 'mome by hidnight'; 'and you can't change that around!'"

Check out Alan's Rindersella and the Prince.

Ann C sent me a version she memorized from her high school news letter. It's yet another fun take on the classic: Ann's Prinderella and the Cince.

This website is 20 years old and I am starting to think that there are infinitely many versions of this tale. I hope you enjoy them all.